Back in the Game

by Simone Grant

So much has happened in the last few days. But then, nothing has actually happened.

The European had dutifully been texting me good morning just about every day since our third date. Plus some additional texts later in the day. I heard from him Saturday night that he'd actually been home sick for most of the day. So Sunday morning I texted him good morning and asked him how he was feeling. I thought it was appropriate as he'd been doing the same for me when I was unwell.

Then, later I did something which in hindsight I guess was naive. There was a silly personal project I needed to do and I thought he might enjoy helping me with it. So I asked him if he was free that night. I specifically said, "I don't suppose you're free". Because I figured he wouldn't be. It was last minute. His reply was a little bizarre. He got defensive and said that he was very busy and mentioned something that I know he's got coming up next week and said he'd be busy until then (this was no more than an hour after he sent me a silly text in which he called me beautiful and mentioned the great sex from a couple of nights earlier which, btw, was good but not great).

Well OK. I didn't reply. And I haven't head from him since (this is the longest I've gone without hearing from him in over a week). And honestly, I'm not sure how much I care. I like the guy, but not enough to be all anguished if he were to disappear tomorrow.

In other news, I unhid my online dating profiles on OKCupid and nerve.com and even shelled out the dough for one month's silver membership on nerve so that I could send as many messages as I want without having to worry about it (on nerve, you can reply for free but can either pay per message to initiate or pay for premium membership). Almost immediately I was engaged in a fun little email volley with a totally inappropriate man.

I know that it's only a matter of time before The European sees that my OKCupid account has been reactivated. He brought up the fact that it was hidden a couple of weeks ago, and I explained that I did that when I was out of town and overwhelmed with everything that's been raining down on me lately. I also learned (I saw it when I was checking to see if there was anyone new in the pool) that he has a gold membership on nerve. So he's bound to see me there, too.

Give my track record with Mr. Potential and how weird he got with me after I hid my profile, I'm hoping the fact that I've now gone back online is a good thing. That the European will see this as me not putting any relationship pressure on him. If it matters to him at all. Which I'm not sure it will. Maybe he was all nice-nice, pretending to be a great guy but the truth is that he's just interested in getting what he can't have and now that the chase is over he's bored.

And I'm not all that sure I care one way or the other. I have no patience for games. None. And he was kind of a freak on Sunday.

All I do know is that I'm back in the dating game. And that I haven't completely lost interest in the European and so if he wants to try to have me in his life he's going to have to continue to make an effort.